Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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