i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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