Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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