Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize