Bisexual people are plain selfish.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
