I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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