She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
