is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
