thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
