Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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