Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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