I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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