Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
