well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
