i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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