Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
