God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
