When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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