At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
