This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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