i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
