Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
