My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
