I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
