Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
