Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
