i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Let's get the cat blown out
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
