I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
