Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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