He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He better not be in your backpack
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
