please come you make the beer taste better
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
