it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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