Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My vagina just recognized that song.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
