I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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