youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
