Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
