I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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