you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
