actually, I'm a sock model
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
