whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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