White coat. Heels.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
