Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
