Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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