I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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