What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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