and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
this hospital has no fireball
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
