I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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