If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize