He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Damn victory sex feels great
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