Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
