she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
