if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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