sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
wow bdsm is so cute
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