Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
