i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
