And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
