butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I don't deserve a penis
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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