Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize