I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
