her vagine was all disorganized.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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