i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
