Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize