I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
how does that bad decision feel?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
