I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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