why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize