Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
