ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
