you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
