there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
