just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
