you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize