You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
