He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Mom said you looked used
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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